Playing At Being Happy

Truth asked me once, pleadingly I think – in a desperately-trying-to-teach-me-something moment – if I was happier without ‘him’ (that person who I let bring too much sad to my life). I said no, not happier. I still miss the ‘happy’ I felt when he was mine. But now I understand it was all just pretty, painted sets in his play-world. I don’t want someone to act the part. I want someone who can go off book from day 1, someone who finds my libretto and finds his place in MY story – no edits. My songs are worth singing. My script is worth listening to. My story doesn’t need to be re-written. I welcome a new leading man to take his place by my side and write the next chapters with me. But, where I’ve been and who I am cannot be changed. Any man who does not see how his next chapter fits next to my previous one is best to move on to find another story.

Truth hands me my book once in while when I get the words wrong. “Read it again” he whispers in prompt. I read, and I remember who I really am not who the world tells me to be. Sometimes he needs to get on the God mic for me to listen properly. He speaks not in direction – that is my job – but, perhaps more as continuity supervisor. I’m listening. I’m learning.

Ask me again, Truth. Ask me if I am happier without ‘him.’ Today I can tell you: yes.



All the world’s a stage, And all the men and women merely players; They have their exits and their entrances, And one man in his time plays many parts, His acts being seven ages.

Jaques to Duke Senior in As You Like It, Act II, Scene VII (in part)

William Shakespeare1564 – 1616

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