Lent is Looming

Lent is almost here.

Traditionally, this has been a time of daily reflection and writing for me. For several years I have spent the quiet of Lent reflecting on myself and my days – the interactions, the successes, the short-comings. It was, at times, very personal and then it could be globally relevant. I challenged myself to find the good each day – in hopes of seeing God. I spent a year forgiving each day – in hopes of gaining freedom.

The time has come again and I find myself struggling.

This year I am not finding comfort in my faith. This year I am not feeling a desire to be closer to God. This year I am not reaching for the ashes to mark me as a child of God. I have been struggling for some time but have left the doubt and uneasiness in the background of my life. Now that Lent is drawing near I can no longer ignore the chasm in my faith. All my emptiness is placed before me in the ashes. I must decide to wear my pain and face my doubt, or to simply sweep it away.