Today’s post is going to be difficult. Not because today was so great. It really wasn’t. By 8:45 this morning I was ready to climb under my desk and cry until I fell asleep. And, it didn’t really get much better after that. But tonight I had a most lovely evening with the most lovely friends and it has given me so much joy in my heart that the crud of the day has been disguised.
If I must relive the yucky parts of today, I think the one that brought the most frustration, anger, and sadness to me was my son’s ADHD morning. He woke up early and was reading, as he does most mornings. After 15 minutes or so, I stopped by his room to remind him of all the things he needed to do this morning to get ready for school and his sleepover at his grandparents. I slowly and carefully listed his chores, told him to get started then went on to get ready myself.
Forty minutes later there was a knock on my bedroom door. When I opened it I saw my son, still in his pajamas, asking if it was a “mommy morning” (meaning a day we had more time just for us in the morning). My shock and frustration took over and I shouted “NO! I told you what you needed to be doing more than half an hour ago! Go! Now!!”
His little face showed every bit of hurt that I had just unleashed on him in a matter of 3 seconds. What I said wasn’t wrong. How I said it was very wrong. It didn’t get better when I went into “I’ll show you” mode after that. My condescending voice echoed over and over “do you have…..” or “did you remember to…..” or “I hope you don’t forget….” All the while I was secretly hoping he did forget something so I could make another point. Not a proud mom moment.
Then I started to read his spelling words to him to practice before the test today and got attitude from him (which seems to be our norm lately). I let loose with another harsh lecture of “why can’t you ever just do what you’re asked without arguing?” Again….the question was valid. The timing, tone and delivery…..not so great.
The ride to childcare was very quiet. He was sad, I was frustrated. I dropped him off in his classroom with barely a word and we went our separate ways. It was Fun Friday at school for him today. He is usually very excited for this day. He was not excited today.
Thankfully, I was able to see him for a few minutes this afternoon before meeting up with my friends for a show. All was forgotten from this morning. We hugged. We giggled. We’re good. I hope he found some fun in his Friday. I finally did, with him.
I wish it was always this easy to move on from mistakes we made. I wish everyone could forgive like this 8-year-old and truly leave it in the past.
Love you most, little man!
Forgiveness all around on a Fun Friday…..
Your words flow so easily. You are truly eloquent.
If only an adult’s resiliency could be as quick as a childs bouncing back to absorb life again.
May God’s love give us that child-like resiliency as it continually washes over us and allows us to have a constant renewal from our mistakes.