Dear Santa…

Dear Santa,

Here is my wish list for this year…

1. I want to see all the people who have died, who I miss, and spend some time with them.  Just a little time, please:  I want to hold gram’s hand.  I want to learn to make doughnuts with Great Grandma Hosley.  I want to build a go-kart with Grandpa Ken.  I want to snuggle with Grandma Bonnie.  I want to crochet with Aunt Ruth.  I want to dance with Kevin. 
2. I want to be a better mom.  I want to know when to give in and indulge my son.  I want to know when to hold firm and help him learn hard lessons.  I want to always choose him first, yet never allow him to feel entitled.  I want him to always know what an amazing person I think he is and never let him be self-centered or arrogant.
3. I want to live outwardly what I feel inwardly.  I want to stop worrying so much about what other people will say or think and just do what I believe is right.  I want to be able to say what needs to be said, or even just what should be said.  I want to learn what “authentic” is really like.
4. I want to share more of my faith.  My faith is like an iceberg.  There is that part on the surface that everyone can see.  I don’t hide it.  But there is so much more hidden beneath…10 times more.  Somehow, the waters never recede and that part remains a secret.  And that’s all within my control.  I don’t care who sees the rest.  But, certainly, there is so much more of me to spread out through the waters.  Somebody needs a bit of something solid to hold on to, if only I would reach that far.
5. I want a “but” reducer.  But…I don’t know who to call.  But…I’m not available at that time.  But…I can’t go away for that long.  But…it’s not in a good neighborhood.  But…it’s just not convenient for me right now.  My heart aches for people (especially children) in need.  I truly desire to somehow make difference.  And then comes the “but.”  I see the hurt in the world.  I can recognize and name it.  And then comes the “but.”  I want to lose a little of that but, a little at a time, until it’s a more reasonable size.
6. I want to help the world learn to stop always viewing life in black and white.  There are many beautiful, happy shades of grey.  I want people to be open to these thoughts:  science and religion can co-exist without either “explaining” why the other is absurd; we can love and support people who do bad things (and their families) without supporting the actions they took; we can care for and protect ourselves not at the expense of others; sports and the arts are not opposing entities that must be chosen in exclusion of the other (especially in our schools); and respect and admiration are not the same thing, and a basic respect for human life seems to be missing in our world.

I know my list is long.  I’m sorry for being so selfish.  Maybe just one thing, though??   These are just the “sugar plums” dancing in my head this Christmas.

With love,

Robyn Anne